Trump's team just made testosterone mandatory—and JD Vance can't stop thinking about ice cream

The White House is having a week. Not a good one.

Start with Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth. He posted a video titled "The High-T Department of War"—yes, really—announcing mandatory testosterone screening for US troops over 30. The message was clear: more T, more winning, more... something. Whether that something includes actually winning wars is anyone's guess at this point.

Then there's the Iran situation. The US is basically rebooting its conflict with Iran, which feels premature if you ask most people. Restarting a war this soon after the last one? At least give audiences time to miss the original. It's giving live-action movie remake energy—unnecessary, expensive, and nobody asked for it.

But wait, there's more. JD Vance apparently got very worked up over footage of Joe Biden eating ice cream. Not in a policy way. In a way that suggests he's been thinking about it since the footage dropped. Which is the kind of detail that makes you wonder what's actually happening in the Oval Office these days.

Lower-level staffers aren't faring better either. Trump's teleprompter operator allegedly made $100,000 betting on what words or topics would appear in the president's speeches on Kalshi, a prediction market. He's now on unpaid leave. Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt announced this with a straight face, adding that "there are very strict ethical guidelines here at the White House." The sheer absurdity of that statement is hard to overstate.

It's giving chaos. It's giving "did anyone actually think this through?" It's giving "maybe we should've had a weekend before launching new wars and mandatory hormone tests." The whole apparatus seems to be spinning in directions no one quite planned for.